Capotes ;]

So today I discovered the vending machine for condoms at my school. My friends were making use of it lol. I have to admit I was kind of shocked. I've been way to sheltered all my life. It feels strange to me how non chalant my friends here are about sex.
Not much is new. I saw on facebook yesterday that a guy I like broke up with his girlfriend! We're sort of friends, but he doesn't really talk to me that much. One time I was eating in the cafe at my school for lunch and he came up and said hi to me. We did the faire le bises thing and I turned bright red. BRIGHT red. He walked away right after, thankfully, but everyone at my lunch table noticed right away and started laughing hysterically. Nice. I somehow manage to embarrass myself very often here in france. My life is pretty much one big embarrassing moment!
Lately I've been feeling pretty lonely. I just don't have any really good friends here. People seem kinda cliquey, but in a way that I think they do it without thinking. They've all known each other their entire lives and I'm just the new girl who isn't staying long. But still, I just though it would be different. I can feel some people warming up to me gradually, but it takes forever, its kinda depressing sometimes. One day last week I just came home and called my mom and burst into tears!
I hate hanging out with Anne-laure and her friends. They totally just ignore me. And also most of them are kinda wierd and smell kinda funny. I really just can't stand people who smell funny. My host dad actually read a study that says french people bathe the least in western europe, and they use the most perfume. Nasty. Body odor mixed with perfume is just plain nasty!
Today we were waiting in line for lunch. Normally I try my hardest to find my other friends for lunch so I don't have to eat with them, but I couldn't today. I felt totally out of place. It was like I wasn't even there. I try to talk and follow the conversation, but they even like formed a little circle. I don't know what their problem is! But I don't think they do it entirely on purpose, if you can understand what I mean. Normally, I just tell myself to suck it up, that this is how I learn to be patient. But I've have enough of stupid patience, I don't even like them!! So I interrupted Anne-laure to tell her that I have a stomache ache and I wasn't hungry. I shoved my way out of the line, which is quite a feat let me tell you, and made my way to the cafe where I had seen some other people I knew earlier.
When I got there, there was only Thomas and he was helping a girl I didn't know with her homework. They looked pretty preoccupied but I sat down anyways, and then went and bought a sandwich. Thomas is super nice. I'm pretty sure he's gay, though my friends tell me he's bi. Whatever, he's really friendly. They both chatted with me for a while but then they left to go eat lunch so I was sitting at the table all alone feeling like a loser. I decided to organize my binder to make it look like I was doing something. There were a lot of other kids there, some of them glanced at me, the loser in the corner!
While I was doing that I didn't notice my friend Gil came in with some other people I know. I moved my stuff over to them and sat down. They were friendly to me, thankfully! Even at one point we were talking about cloths and I said I hadn't been shopping in forever and that I was dying to *hint* *hint* and automatically Gill was like, "wanna go tomorrow?" That was so nice, I was really happy. She seemed like she felt like going to. But I had to decline because I'm going out of town this weekend.
So that was pretty much my day. After that I came home and baked chocolate chip cookies for this weekend.
Tomorrow I'm going to Nimes for a little get together for my organization, and I'm going to spend the night there. There are supposed to be 5 other exchange students going to, but I don't know which ones, I know most of the exchange students who are in france right now, so I'm sure it will be fun. The only problem is that I have to take the train there all by myself. And, I have to switch trains at one point! I am SO going to get lost and miss my second train and be stuck in Marsaille all alone, I just know it! Oh well, Marsaille is one of the most beautiful cities in France and the weather has been super nice lately! Well, not matter what, I'm sure this train trip won't be like the one from Rouen to here because that was a night mare that I never wish to repeat! Still, I feel pretty nervous for tomorrow. Though I have learned from my nightmarish experience several survival tips to stay away from creepy rapist french men and for not missing the stop or the train, so I might be ok, just stressed out a little- a lot.
Never ever ask directions from a man, do not make eye contact no matter how hard they try, do not wear your hair down, don't look to pretty, ignore them at all costs, don’t look lost or worried, and act like a bitch when needed. The bitch thing really works ;)
My host brother does everything he possibly can to annoy me!! He is so freaking annoying, omg I have been getting so angry at him! It makes me really honestly upset, even though he’s not serious, I take it seriously because I would totally just die if something was really honestly wrong with my host family and me. He just doesn’t know when to stop! I know he likes to joke around a lot so I do take a lot of time to make him happy, but like I said, he doesn’t know when to stop! These days he enjoys calling me a sallope or a connasse(now sure how those are spelled) which are very rude words in French that more or less mean bitch. What if he really thinks that!? What if my host family really thinks that!? I know how irrational I sound, but still, I can’t help myself! I can become pretty bitchy if you constantly provoke me, but I’ve really been trying to be on my best behavior here! Even right now I am sitting here listening to my ipod on full volume because he won’t leave me alone. I told him I was busy and he could annoy after I finished writing this because I really like to concentrate. Haha I know that saying, you can annoy me afterward doesn’t really work, hence the ipod.
Other times he acts really super nice to me. My host parents told me they secretly think he’s “en amoure” with me. Yah, that’s not cute to me! One time my host mom told me that he kept asking all afternoon when I would be coming home from school for no reason at all.
I’m going to try to write more on my blog. A lot of times I just don’t feel like it because I feel like I don’t have anything interesting to write about, I’ll write about my weekend next week, promise.